Keys Breeze

Island Hopping

Already a week into the 2009 Hurricane season and so far all is quiet. So let’s take the opportunity to island hop a bit for a few tales from the tropics. The tropical mega-mogul Jimmy Buffett is keeping busy. Jimmy and pal Mac McAnally will be playing at a benefit for wounded soldiers tonight in Washington D.C. After that Jimmy only has a little time to squeeze in some fishing and surfing before the next leg of his annual summer tour launches on the 18th. Check out the article on www.buffettworld.com about the surfing museum that Buffett recently opened next to his Honolulu restaurant. Buffett has built his Margaritaville venture into a very recognizable and prosperous brand but may someday soon be outdone by late Reggae legend Bob Marley who may have his own money! Many Jamaicans were disappointed by a recent decision to feature a former Prime Minister on Jamaica’s $5,000 bill (worth about $70 US) rather than Marley. Bob Marley is arguably the most famous Jamaican ever and the issue is likely to come up again. There are many who support the Marley money because of the significant impact Bob and his music have had worldwide. Certainly hard to argue with that. The BBC named Marley’s “One Love” the song of the century and Time magazine hailed “Exodus” as the album of the millennium. Based on that criteria the U.S. would appear to be long overdue for at least putting Elvis Presley on the $20 bill. Next time you escape from prison don’t count on Mom to provide you with a safe house. A recent report from Tortola, recounted the misadventure of a 19 year old man who cut his way through a prison wall and fled to the assumed safety of his mother’s house, only to have her promptly turn him back in at the Police station in Road Town. Authorities did not specify if the Mother had dragged him in by the collar or one of his ears. Feeling out of the loop because you don’t know when the volcano’s gonna blow? Fear not, just log on to the official site of the Montserrat Volcano Observatory at www.mvo.ms for the latest updates on volcanic activity at the Soufrière Hills Volcano in Montserrat. The site also provides education on safety precautions and procedures. Dang! Just when I had enough change in the old piggy bank they go and close the only Four Seasons resort in the Bahamas! The Four Seasons recently shut down their five star operation at Great Exuma due to mounting financial losses. The closure is unlikely to have much impact on wealthy travelers who have no shortage of exotic destinations to toss their cash around. Sadly it will have a heavy impact on the locals. The resort was the largest employer in Exuma with a staff of over 500.

Tryin' to Reason With Hurricane Season

Ahoy Mates! It’s been nearly a month since the last post so we are overdue to set sail again - Just in time for the start of 2009 Hurricane season! There are plenty of interesting stories connected to hurricanes and I even have several of my own. Like making it out of Puerto Rico only a day before Hurricane Hugo stuck back in 1989, and being chased out of Key West ahead of Hurricane Michelle. Michelle of course, took a left turn at Cuba, leaving the Keys with no more damage than money lost when many tourists, including me, were forced to cut vacations short. My favorite Hurricane of them all was Wilma. As I have written before, Wilma left behind an unexpected and beautiful gift, the newly formed Bruce Key, or as the feds now call it “Wilma Key”. I won’t recount the entire tale, as many of you are already familiar with it. Long story short, driving down the Keys through huge piles of debris only a week after Wilma hit, I could never have imagined that less than six months later we would be married on the newest of the Keys, Bruce Key, thanks to Hurricane Wilma. There is another great tale of Wilma that some of you may recall Captain Keith telling us aboard Danger’s Prize. It was the story of the $16 million custom Italian sailing yacht that Hurricane Wilma pushed for more than a mile before it made port in several feet of sandy muck. Wether or not you are familiar with the story you really should go to www.keysnews.com and check it out. The story is titled “Waterworld” It is a fascinating story about the boat and her owner, who actually was aboard the yacht with his crew as Wilma tossed them around like a toy boat in a bathtub. The yacht’s unplanned voyage did a great deal of damage to the fragile seabed and fish habitat in the area, leaving a 15 foot wide scar as she was dragged wherever Wilma wanted to take her. I recall my initial reaction was, anyone who can afford a $16 million sailboat should be on the hook for the tab to help restore the sea grass beds, and just might not be the kind of guy you’d want to hang out with and drink beers with on Duval Street. But, after reading the article noted above, I stand corrected. He actually sounds like the kind of guy I would want to buy a beer just to hear some of his stories. Also just in time for the 2009 Hurricane Season, the Keys newest attraction is ready for visitors. Provided of course you done a mask and tank. The General Hoyt S. Vandenburg is now the world’s largest artificial reef having been sunk off Key West last Wednesday. You should still be able to find video of the sinking on the web by going to www.keysnews.com. Amazing that from the time they detonated the charges, it took less than 3 minutes for the 500 ft. plus vessel to slip below the surface. For all you music fans out there, here’s one you may not want to miss! Headlining June’s St. Kitt’s Music Festival will be non other than the legendary, hang on now, K.C. and The Sunshine Band! Uh, no really I am serious, and yes K.C. and the Sunshines are apparently still alive. With all the great performers in the Caribbean like Quito Rymer, Bankie Banx and others what a head-scratcher this is. I guess maybe Donna Summer was already booked. So on that confusing note, we’ll bring this voyage to a close. Hope everyone has a safe and fun 2009 Hurricane Season

Patrick Ó Brien

Manatees, Topless Bicyclists, Sinkin’ Ships, and Real Life Heros - God How I Miss The Keys!

My how time flies when you are waiting for spring in Minnesota. An awful lot has been happening down island since the last post so we best set sail right away. Here’s a sampler platter that should have something for everyone! Manatees - Biologists rescued a pregnant manatee on Wednesday from the Tarpon Basin in Key Largo. In fact, two years ago biologists were unable to rescue two years ago this 9-foot gal, nicknamed Patsy. One of her front flippers still was badly tangled in monofilament fishing line. Earlier this week, biologists spotted a manatee they thought was Patsy, and put a tracking device on her tail. They tracked her until she went to a good spot for rescue. She was then taken to the Miami Seaquarium to remove the fishing line, and will be released back into the wild as soon as possible. Biologists said “She is a very robust, healthy manatee,”. Patsy is nine months’ pregnant, and Manatees usually give birth at 13 months. Topless Biking - A political action group recently held a rally in support of mayoral candidate Sloan Bashinsky, who has proposed establishing an official nude beach for the enjoyment of European tourists and freedom loving beach-goers. The highlight of the rally was when two two topless women on bicycles pedaled past just minutes after Bashinsky told the standing-room-only crowd that Key West should offer a nude beach. I guess now people like Ragatz and Ozzie will have an opportunity to enjoy some other sights in Key West outside of Garden of Eden. Sinkin’ Ships - Shipwrecks are one of the richest parts of Key West’s colorful history highlighted by Mel Fisher’;s discovery of the Spanish Treasure ship Nuestra Senora de Atocha. As you probably know the Atocha was the pride of a fleet that went down in a Hurricane in the waters of the Dry Tortugas back in 1622. Diver’s from Mel Fisher’s company are still working the site and have brought up more treasure as recently as this winter. But soon the Keys will claim another ship that will be sunk intentionally as an artificial reef. The Gen. Hoyt S. Vandenberg’s 1,050-mile journey from Norfolk, Va. ended last week with the ships arrival in Key West. The former military ship will become the world’s second largest artificial reef. You can surf the web and find plenty of details on the Vandenburg. A Discovery channel show is also planned to capture the event. What really caught my eye was some of the unusual requests officials have been receiving since the ship arrived in the Keys. A group of Germans wanted to put their boat on the super-structure when it goes down, with them in it. A diver with a powerful thirst wanted to fill a sealed room with beer, and we assume dive in. Both requests were denied. Although there won’t be any treasure on the Vandenburg, local officials and merchants are certainly hoping it will bring in treasure from tourists who will come to dive the wreck and leave cash behind in the hotels and bars. Real Life Heros - Paul Sammis was going to lunch via his normal route on U.S. 1 when a vehicle in front of him began to swerved out of control and went off the road into the ocean at Mile Marker 28. Sammis called 911, dove in and somehow pulled the driver out of the window and swam the man to shore just as paramedics and Florida troopers arrived.. The 60 year old driver apparently fell asleep at the wheel. He was taken to the hospital in Marathon, and according to reports his injuries reportedly were not life-threatening. Sammis, has lived and worked in the Florida Keys for about 10 years. “I did what anybody else would do, jump in and try to help the guy,” he said. “We’re all heroes in the Keys — nah, survivors I should say.” By the way, Sammis is 70 years young!

Drunken Sailors

Ahoy Mates and welcome to what I dare say will be the most controversial, or at least most bawdy installment of the blog thus far. This entry has nothing to do with the Keys, but has everything to do with salty seafaring men like the pirates and scoundrels who have frequented the Keys. This entry may seem a bit long winded, but a search for the truth often requires extra effort. Which probably explains why stretching the truth is much more common and fun! Now that I hopefully have your attention - it’s time to sail again. Read on and enjoy! Patrick O’Brien A few weeks ago your attention may have been grabbed by a quaint little story from the folks at BBC about revisions to the timeless classic “Drunken Sailor” song, to “Grumpy Pirate”. What an outrage! As if changing the lyrics to a classic weren’t bad enough, they showed journalistic disregard for the facts, as the BBC referred to it as “A Nursery Rhyme”. It seems that some folks found the tune to be in poor taste for sing-alongs with schoolchildren. And they are sooooo right. But they didn’t understand why they were right. And in fact, the added lyrics may have made the song even more inappropriate. And thus our mission for this blog entry is to make sure you have the true facts. Let’s start setting things right by first correcting the BBC on their “Nursery Rhyme” error. The well known “Drunken Sailor” tune is in fact a Sea Shanty, which comes from the French word “chanter” to sing. These were shipboard working songs that served a practical purpose. Not some cutesy little ditty to entertain preschoolers. Back in the days when muscle and wind were the only power aboard sailing ships, the rhythm of the shanties helped synchronize the movements of the crew as they performed repetitive tasks. Now that we have sorted out the true origin of the song, let’s tackle the more racy and raunchy meaning of the song, which is where the real entertainment value lies. As luck would have it, within only a day or so after the news broke of this terrible revision to a classic work, I had the opportunity to consult a bona-fide expert in matters such as bawdy seafaring songs. The whole rhubarb over the “Drunken Sailor” came up while enjoying pints of Guinness on a recent Kilt Night excursion to Merlin’s Pub.  With pals Mark and Jeff in tow we swapped stories with Cultural Minister, one Bill Watkins. At this point in our story we must engage in a brief change in course to establish Bill’s credentials as an expert. Bill is the author of several books about his youth in Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and England. He later went on to make a living as a musician, and for many years, as a maritime radio operator, where he built vast firsthand knowledge of life on the sea. Bill set us on the right course regarding the lyrics so cleverly crafted by old salt water sailors. Lusty and mischievous men to be sure, they weren’t singing about a crew mate who had consumed too much rum. Nooooo - they were using slang to refer to a certain part of the male anatomy that, if everything is in good working order, often rises in the morning. Now that you are enlightened, just extend the true meaning to the lyrics of the song and you certainly see why it is even more inappropriate than just having a few boozy references. As for my claim that the new lyrics may be even worse - think about this one - “tickle him until he starts to giggle”. If you don’t feel enlightened and need further explanation, please consult someone else as I would rather not provide more graphic details. Bill found the whole mess over the song to be most amusing. We all laughed mightily as Bill recalled the great fun he and his chums had in Catholic grade school had whenever the nuns, Holy women of God, would lead them in a rousing rendition of “Drunken Sailor” - totally ignorant of the true meaning of the lyrics they belted out. Needless to say we all had a great laughs over this, and of course like any good Drunken Sailors - more Guinness!

Down Island Happenings

My how time flies when you’re stuck dealing with January in Minnesota. So now that we’ve put that nasty month astern let’s put our brains in a better latitude and think down island shall we? There have been lots of interesting happenings in the Keys lately including celebrity sightings this past week in Key West - so let’s sail again! Early in the week it had been reported that none other than Kenny Chesney was in the Southernmost City looking at a house on Caroline street. But before you rush down and try to buy a place in his neighborhood so you can hang with Kenny - he did not but the house. Maybe just too many crazy women in that part of town. Like that Kelly McGillis gal. Reports are she was in town too. Probably checking up on that restaurant she has in old town.

By far the biggest celeb spending time in the Conch Republic this week was none other than Head Parrot Himself, Jimmy Buffett. Bubba and his sidekick Mac MacAnally showed up to play a 2/12 hour show at Margaritaville on Duval Street. You can read the whole story at www.buffettworld.com. Speaking from experience I can assure you that the 200 or so lucky folks in attendance got an incredible treat. One of those rare times when the stars aligned, on a Halloween a few years back, I was with several close friends at Margaritaville on Duval when they locked the doors and Jimmy took the stage. What a great experience we had!

I have a suggestion for Jimmy and Kenny. They both obviously seem to enjoy Key West, and of course have both been wildly successful. Perhaps they should buy invest in some real estate. There’s a cute little place on the market down on the sunset end of Duval Street, called the Pier House. They could turn it into the ultimate Parrot Head destination - Margaritaville Resort on Duval. It would make a great permanent home for the annual Meeting of The Minds Parrot Head convention. It would also preserve a great piece of Parrot Head history - the Chart Room Bar where Jimmy’s old pal who inspired the classic “Pirate Looks at 40” used to tend bar.

Heck Jimmy could even swing a deal to acquire Ballast Key, which is just a short hop by seaplane of flats skiff. The same Key West businessman who owns the Pier House has Ballast Key on the market for approximately $13 million. I spent a great morning flats fishing a few years ago right off the beautiful beach of Ballast Key. It was one of the prettiest spots I have seen in the Keys. According to our guide the place has hosted more than it’s share of wild parties attended by the likes of Tennessee Williams. At one point the caretaker drove out on the long boat dock in a golf cart and checked us out with binoculars to see what were up to. Satisfied that we weren’t Cuban refugees, drug runners, or modern day pirates come to pillage the place, he zipped back to the main house in his golf cart. Hmmm, if only I could scrape together the $13 million….